How to support your pals
💬 Well done, pal. I know how much you put into that & how much it meant to you…..💬
“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.”
What does that genuine and authentic friendship feel like…
Supporting your goals –
‘’That’ll never work, such a stupid idea, don’t waste your time – I’m just being realistic though’’ – Do these feel familiar? It’s not about blind loyalty and saying everything will be great when there isn’t a solid plan behind things. It’s about hearing and seeing your friend, understanding their motivation for going for this goal and identifying what role you can play in helping them achieve it.
Laugh with, not at –
This is an interesting one. Yes, 100% it’s not about laughing at a pal when they may feel insecure or vulnerable about something (don’t know if they feel insecure or vulnerable? Ask them, in a kind and simple way). Still, at the same time, as humans, we’re social animals, and that level of interaction is vital to building connections and relationships.
Of course, in the traditional clubhouse environments, jokes at the expense of teammates and pals are commonplace, and may this continue. But it MUST be with permission and not to the detriment of anyone. Feel like this isn’t happening? May want to question that friendship.
Feeling seen & heard –
This is HUGE. You might not understand what your pal is going through or even understand what they’re saying – but just being there, engaging in active listening and playing back the things you’re hearing can make a world of difference to a pal. You don’t always have to agree with everything they say, but helping them feel seen and heard can make a huge difference in moving through a challenging situation.
Support you to feel safe –
Yes, this is about physical safety, too, but it is mainly about emotional safety. Knowing you can talk to your friends about the confusing things in your head that you don’t understand and know you want to be judged or gossiped about is what it’s all about. Communicate that you don’t expect your pals to have all the answers but just be there to help you work them out.
Things to be curious about…
❓How does it feel to have a friend support you like that?
❓How does it feel when they don’t?
❓Do you expect every friend to respond in the same way?
We’d love to hear your comments and hear what you think 👇
Feedback
What’s stopping you from giving feedback?
This is a great article on biased feedback. not something I’d really considered before!