Therapist – ” So, what brings you here today?”
Me – ” Well, I don’t know really I think I’m alright. I mean, I’m constantly crying for no reason. Exhausted all of the time. Mt brain feels completely foggy, I don’t want to do the things or go to the places I used to love. And I guess I’ve lost all confidence in myself really. Other that that I think I’m alright!”
Therapist – ”Ah. Right. Let’s have a chat shall we?”
I laugh about that moment now but believe me, I wasn’t at the time.
Even though it was a virtual session, opening the laptop to be greeted by a strangers face, all with the intention of opening yourself up and becoming vulnerable is, without understatement, a terrifying thing.
It genuinely fascinates me that there is still a stigma around talking therapy. We completely normalise going to the ‘body’ gym and engaging a personal trainer to help us, simplistically, be better. Yet the idea of someone using the ‘mind’ gym to achieve exactly the same outcome is still an alien and scary concept within modern society.
Yes, I totally agree that individuals will have different goals associated with their training, so I appreciate it isn’t a direct comparision.
I saw and felt massive differences when I engaged in a personal trainer for the best part of 18months recently (Nice one Ge!). I loved it. I must say though, in terms of my day to day and building the pyschological toolbox, talking therapy has been the best thing I’ve ever done.
The differences I’ve felt when opening time with my family, my son, playing golf (which I love) and my ability to process difficult emotions and challenges is simply remarkable. At least, compared to where I was.
Look, it’s f***ing scary. Being vulnerable and going into the unknown really can’t be dismissed. I hear you on that.
Finding the right therapist is like finding the right sports coach. There are so many different types and you may not get on with every therapist, like you wouldn’t get on with every coach, but committing too the process and understanding the type of person you’re looking for can really help.
Then I met Charlotte. Boom. Instant connection. I always remember that first phone conversation. Her words reassured me instantly.
Charlotte – ”So, how do you like to work. Are you structured or do you prefer to just talk and I’ll follow you?”
Me – ” Just talk and you follow I guess. I don’t really know where I’m going though?”
Charlotte – ” That’s the point. I’m here to help you find clarity of direction and help you fill your tool box, at your pace”.
In a sporting context, she got me. The type of coach you’d run through a brick wall for. I understood where I was trying to get too and trusted Charlotte too help me get there. We identified what my values are, and what was important to me (and why!).
Authenticity – Empathy – Fun – Inquisitiveness . These are my personal values and those of what we’re trying to do at Speakeasy Club.
Some common phrases I’ve heard from people talking therapy is mentioned:
”I don’t know what I’d talk about” – Perfect. Sit on that sofa and the words will come. That’s how it works.
”I don’t need it” – Cool. Have you tried it? yet you prioritise exercise to keep your body fit and healthy? do you still need that? Talking therapy and exercise are the same thing and have the same life improving benefits.
”But there’s nothing wrong with me?” – Yeah, this one winds me up a little bit. It’s not something that you need only when you’re ”bad”. It’s beneficial for anyone at anytime. This is the place we need to get to.
Talking therapy is scary, new and something that needs to be committed to. Yet, it’s the best thing I’ve done in my life. Simple.
If you’re sitting with thoughts that don’t make any sense please reach out to someone. A loved one, someone completely outside of your usual circle or a professional (Some places to check out are detailed below).
If you want to think clearer and have clarity, then it’s the only way.
Take care, please share and Speak Easy
Simon
Big moose Coffee Co – https://www.bigmoosecoffeecompany.co/services
Andys Man Club – https://andysmanclub.co.uk
Looseheads – https://looseheadz.co.uk
Mind – https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/
Boys get sad too – https://boysgetsadtoo.com
Talking Therapy database – https://www.betterhelp.com/helpme/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_c&utm_term=talk+therapy_e&utm_content=143273538211&network=g&placement=&target=&matchtype=e&utm_campaign=17446962936&ad_type=text&adposition=&gclid=Cj0KCQjw3eeXBhD7ARIsAHjssr80SzrMmLa7UL4TaUOHvXaawhRJjg3yD6zhrAsUS-fn92__e4ZS6wYaAo2WEALw_wcB¬_found=1&gor=helpme
